


White Coat Syndrome

by idola



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Medical Kink, Nonbinary Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 09:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21034193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idola/pseuds/idola
Summary: Sphintus is a great roommate. Except for the part where he's a nursing student and Titus has a thing for nurses.





	White Coat Syndrome

**Author's Note:**

> im trying to broaden my horizons. have some college au sphintits

Titus was in a bit of a pinch.

Not like… a _bad_ pinch. It was kind of a good thing, sort of? But it was also really, really bad.

Colleges handed roommates out like candy. Sign up and you get one for free. So naturally Titus had a roommate. And that was fine! Roommates were cool. It was like a free friend, and friends were really swell!

However!

Titus’ roommate was a nursing student.

Why was that a problem, exactly?

Well. Weeeeeell.

“So anyway, we have to do this head-to-toe exam for homework, and you’re the only one I know here! Pleaaaase?”

Titus gulped. “Sure.”

Sure? _Sure?_

What did a head-to-toe even mean? Did it include everything between their head and their toes? Everything?

Sphintus was a nice guy, and this wasn’t their first week of rooming together or anything. They’d been rooming together for a solid six months, getting great mileage out of their free friend status with regular trips to the movies, to the grocery store, and even to amusement parks together.

One might even say that they were closer to boyfriends than roommates at this point, except that they weren’t actually dating. But Titus certainly had a bit of a crush, which might have a little bit to do with the scrubs Sphintus had to wear for class or the medical supplies littered across their shared room, or even with the exams that Sphintus asked Titus to help him study for every now and then.

Oh god, Sphintus already had his stethoscope out. “Alright, so first I’ve gotta take your vitals.”

Titus took a deep breath. In, out, in, out. Just focus on breathing. Not on the feeling of a stethoscope on bare skin… moving just so, searching for the perfect place to listen… mmgh.

“Mmgh.”

“Huh? Say something?”

“N-nope!” Titus said quickly. “Nothing at all.”

“Oookay. Hey, your pulse is pretty darn fast. You okay?”

“Uh, yeah!” Titus squeaked. “Nurses always get really high readings on me. Hahah… ha.”

“Alright then,” Sphintus said, then got to really listening.

Some time passed. Titus eventually forgot to even take deep breaths. It felt like hours before Sphintus removed the quickly warming stethoscope, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Your pulse is 122 beats per minute. That’s really fast. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Everything’s perfect!”

“And your respers are 20. That’s also pretty high.”

“What are those?”

“That’s how much you’re breathing.”

Oh, crap. Deep breath. Deep breath.

“…Anyway, I’m gonna get your blood pressure next,” Sphintus said and reached into the bag he’d just brought back from lab. It was worth mentioning that he was still in his lab scrubs, too, which was undoubtedly part of the problem. The royal purple of their school’s scrubs uniform just suited him too well. 

Sphintus put the cuff on Titus’ arm and pumped it up manually. It’d been a while since Titus last saw one of the manual sort. Usually they used the automatic ones at the clinic he went to. The knowledge that Sphintus was directly responsible for every bit of the tightness on his arm was… something, alright. It caused an equal tightness in their throat.

Sphintus placed his stethoscope back on Titus’ arm after completely pumping the cuff up, then twisted the valve just so to let some air release, eyes intently focusing on the air pressure meter. It wasn’t long before he sighed and looked back up to meet Titus’ eyes, removing the stethoscope from his ears as he did. “Your blood pressure’s elevated too. 140/87. Seriously, are you okay?”

“Never been better! I always run high at the doctor’s office.”

Sphintus squinted.

Titus squinted back.

A moment passed. Then Sphintus sighed again. “Okay, if you say so. I’ve got your vitals. I don’t have a pulse ox or a thermometer, but she said we can leave those blank. Guess it’s time for the head-to-toe part then.”

“What do you do in a head-to-toe?” Titus asked. Acting normal was key for the rest of this. It was the only way they’d get out alive and with dignity.

“Well, I start at your head and do a few assessments there. Like run my hands through your hair and shine a light in your mouth and stuff. Then I move down and listen to your lungs and bowels and check for wounds, then feel for your pulses on your feet. Oh, I need push-pulls and grips, too. There’s a lot of stuff, so I’m gonna use my checklist as we go through it. Alright?”

“Sure thing. Be as thorough as you need,” Titus said. And then a second later realized what they’d just said and turned bright red.

Thankfully Sphintus was too busy scowling at his assignment to notice. “How am I ever gonna memorize this? It’s two and a half pages worth of things to remember. Ugh, clinicals are going to be a nightmare.”

Don’t say anything embarrassing. Don’t say anything embarrassing. “Hmm. Well, you can always practice on me.”

…That was embarrassing!!

But Sphintus brightened up anyway. “Aw, man. Thanks. I really appreciate it. Anyway, let’s get started.”

Unfortunately - or very fortunately? - getting started meant Sphintus running his hands through Titus’ long hair, gently parting here and there, fixing any tangles he found that’d accumulated through the long school day.

Weird as it was, Titus had never been happier to have been born without the ability to get a visible erection! The… well, warmth between their legs was certainly still very real and very distracting, though.

Next up was a small eye exam, following a pen light and having it flashed a few times. Then ears, nose. Mouth.

“Can you open your mouth for me?”

Titus did so. “A, aaah.”

“I’m gonna stick a tongue blade in.”

“Aah?”

And then he stuck it in. Held Titus’ tongue down with it.

If there was a medical explanation for why things like that in particular were such a turn on, Titus would like to know it. And not just because the medical explanation would be a turn on too! It was just really embarrassing, and being really embarrassed for no good reason was… well, you know. Really embarrassing.

“Everything looks good,” Sphintus said, then removed the tongue blade and pitched it. “Let’s see, what’s next… looks like it’s range of motion. Can you move your head from side to side? Up and down?”

Titus did so.

“Now I need to check for JVD and carotid bruits,” Sphintus said, readying his stethoscope once more.

“You need your stethoscope for this?”

“Yep. It goes right on your neck.”

“Oh. It, uh, does?”

“Mm-hm.”

With that, Sphintus pressed it firmly to Titus’ neck, cold metal against their skin. “Mmf.”

“…Mmf?”

“Um, haha… you know, like a… uh, cat? Mmf. Mmmrow.”

“Like a cat,” Sphintus repeated. “You say some funny things.”

“Haha. Guess so!”

It just got worse and worse, didn’t it? And they’d offered to help with this _often!_ Titus was lucky if Sphintus thought him anything but a major pervert by the end.

But Sphintus didn’t say anything else, just feeling around with that stethoscope on Titus’ neck. “Everything sounds good to me.”

“G-great.”

“And you don’t have any JVD, either. I mean, you’re probably too young for it anyway. But I guess you never know.”

“Yeah, uh, always good to check.”

“Anyway, let’s move on,” Sphintus said, then placed his hands on Titus’ shoulder. They reflexively tensed. “Can you move your shoulders up for me? Good.”

Sphintus continued to get several range of motion exercises out of Titus before checking his sheet again and moving on.

“Okay, so next I need you to give me your hands,” Sphintus said. But he more or less took them himself, and boy, were they clammy. But Sphintus didn’t say anything. Maybe he didn’t notice?

…Ha. Fat chance. He was just being nice! Hopefully he didn’t think Titus was contagious or anything.

“Can you pull towards yourself? Push towards me? Good, good.” Sphintus adjusted his hands. “Now can you squeeze? Harder, you won’t break anything. Okay, good.”

Good, he said. Good!

Why was it that a compliment from someone in scrubs was so much more sensual than a compliment from someone in regular, everyday clothing? 

Sphintus then raised Titus’ hands up towards his eyes and pressed against his nails a couple times. “Cap refill looks good too.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s an oxygenation thing. Means you’re not secretly dying of oxygen deprivation.”

“You can secretly die of that?”

“You’d think so, with how much they care about us checking it. Oh, here’s another they care about. Skin turgor,” Sphintus said, then pinched a section of skin on the back of Titus’ hand to demonstrate. “But if they’re worried about dehydration they should really just get a urine sample. I mean, how hard can it be? But anyway. Checking the skin for wounds is pretty annoying, too. But one of my classmates gave me a good tip earlier.”

“What was it?”

“See, the thing is that they tell you to look really hard because if there’s a pressure ulcer on them that you don’t document, then it’s more expensive for the hospital. But why should I care how much the hospital pays? They’re going to pay me the same either way. So it’s hard to get nurses to assess carefully for intake.”

“Mm.”

“But then my classmate said that some patients come in with bedbugs, and sometimes the bedbugs are in their groin area or whatever other place you weren’t going to look earlier, and if you don’t find them you can accidentally end up taking them home. So I feel a lot more motivated to _really_ look now, you know?”

“Y, yeah, that makes sense. Are you going to _really_ look at me?”

Sphintus laughed. “I mean, I’m pretty sure you’d attempt murder if I started looking for bedbugs on your junk.”

“N-no, I’d understand,” Titus said. Unsurprisingly, their traitorous voice cracked halfway.

“It’s not _that_ serious of an assignment, don’t worry. But I do still have to ask about some weird stuff soon, so sorry in advance.”

Then Sphintus put his stethoscope back on.

Oh, the feelings Titus had for that stethoscope, both good and bad. In the first place… in the first place, their designs were just _begging_ to star in a fantasy. Look at them! The perfect picture of sensuality. And when they touched Titus’ bare skin… mngh.

Sphintus’ hand stopped as Titus bit back a moan at the touch. Then he forced it to move again, bringing the stethoscope just below Titus’ clavicle. “Okay, I need you to take a deep breath. In and out.”

Titus did so.

It was surprisingly calming being told when and how to breath, but Titus had no idea that it would require so many breaths. They never took this long at the doctor’s office. Who would have thought that they were cheating them out of an exam?

“Great job,” Sphintus said, and Titus’ chest swelled from his praise. “Okay, onward to bowel sounds. Can you lift your shirt up for me?”

Titus held their breath as they did so. It wasn’t long before the stethoscope was on their bare stomach, its owner listening intently.

“M, mm, m…” 

He moved the stethescope a couple inches to another site.

“Mm, mmr…”

Again.

“Mm…”

One last time.

“Mm, ahh…”

Sphintus finally lifted the stethoscope to stare at Titus dubiously. “Okay, I could ignore the rest of… this, but what was all that?”

“A, uh, um, m-meow.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Titus bit their lip for a moment, then gulped. Sphintus was really staring. “Well, er. It’s a bit of a… sore topic for me.”

“I’m listening.”

“I have a, um, variety of White Coat Syndrome.”

“Yeah, I noticed. Your vitals were sky high.”

“I also, um.”

“……”

“……”

“You have a thing for nurses, don’t you.”

“…H, hahaha! What a funny remark. You’re just so, um… funny… sometimes, haha. Now where would you get that from.”

All Sphintus could do was laugh. “Oh my god. What are the chances. I’ve never met someone with a nurse kink before.”

“W-well you were going to _eventually!_ You’re a nurse!”

“Nursing _student._ Also, was that a compliment!? You usually just tease me.”

“_You’re_ the one teasing _me!_”

“Yeah, I know,” Sphintus said and put his stethoscope back on. “I need to milk this for all it’s worth. Seriously, this is priceless. I’ve never seen you so red before.”

Titus bit back another moan as the stethoscope touched their bare stomach again. Sphintus moved it lower and lower… oh, god.

“Renal artery has a strong pulse,” Sphintus noted. “Maybe I’m just not in the right spot but it feels like plus two, exactly where pulses should be. But your apical pulse is plus three,” he said, moving the stethoscope back up to under Titus’ left breast. “From nerves, no doubt.”

“Mghaaahh you already checked that!”

“Do you mind me double checking it?”

“N, no, you’re the nurse here.”

Sphintus laughed again. He sounded like he was really enjoying himself.

This was… for lack of a better word, a scene straight out of a porno. Not that Titus had ever watched nurse pornos before! But they were sure that they existed, and they were sure that they were exactly like this.

Sphintus moved a hand along Titus’ thigh, lifting it up and lowering it slowly on either side, one after the other. “Your passive range of motion is good, but you’re shaky - tremors noted bilaterally. Now, what might the cause of that be?”

Titus didn’t say anything as Sphintus moved to testing their calves.

“It could be caffeine or side effects from a drug or even withdrawal. But I’d bet you anything it’s nerves in this case. I’m not a doctor, though, so I’m going to need a more thorough assessment. And I still need to check for wounds. Full skin assessments are important.”

“Do you, um… want me to take this off?” Titus asked, tugging at their shirt.

“Yeah, that’d help a lot. Unless you’d prefer that I just feel for everything under your shirt.”

“Oh, uh… if you’d prefer to do it that way…?”

“Nah. Don’t want to go sticking my hand knuckle deep in a surprise stage 4.”

That probably wasn’t a laughing matter, but Titus laughed anyway. Because they didn’t know what else to do.

Sphintus gave a good look around Titus’ bare stomach and shoulders, then raised Titus’ arms up to get a good look either way… and then turned them around to look at their back. “Yep, no pressure ulcers here. But they’re often on the lower half, not the upper half.”

“Should I take my pants off too, Nurse?”

“Nursing _student._ Yeah, we better get you out of those just to be sure.”

“N-no problem,” Titus said and removed their pants with shaky hands. The room was much colder in a binder and underwear than in a sweater and pants, but the situation was more than heating them up enough to account for the difference in temperature.

Sphintus lifted their thighs up again, then slid his hand down Titus’ leg, down to… 

“Mmgh!”

Sphintus’ hand stopped. Their eyes met for a second.

“…Sorry. Keep going,” Titus said. “It’s just my, um…”

“Your vitals spiking again.”

“Mmgh… yes, that.”

Sphintus’ hand palpated Titus through the thin cotton of their underwear. He could undoubtedly feel that they were wet through it, but he didn’t comment. Just like a real nurse wouldn’t. “Doesn’t feel like you have any wounds.”

“A, aren’t you going to… um. Check under that? Just to be sure.”

Sphintus bit back some more laughter. “You know that you’d get your nurse fired if you actually did this in a hospital, right? You’re practically begging here.”

“Yes, but you said this assignment wasn’t that serious! It doesn’t have to be realistic.” 

“But I have to take it seriously anyway. We have some concept maps to fill out based on it, see. Nursing diagnoses and all. And I think I’m gonna have to nursing diagnose you for this,” Sphintus said solemnly. “How does Ineffective Coping Related to Medical Examination: Horny for Medical Professionals sound?”

“Please don’t write that on your assignment!”

Sphintus just laughed as he slid a finger under Titus’ underwear.

“Mm, mm…” 

Needless to say, the assignment got a bit sidetracked.

One finger turned to two, Titus bucking into them and whining… then shivering.

“…That was fast.”

“Mmgh… well, if I recall correctly, you _did_ say that you should finish intake assessments quickly before. You were so worried about it, too!” 

Sphintus glanced at the clock. “It’s been a good half hour since we started and we’re supposed to be able to do these in five minutes. It’s perfectly within my right to worry!”

“Hmm… then I suppose you can do it again, if you really need to…”

“You’re the worst patient ever. But it _is_ pretty good practice. C’mon, get your clothes back on. It’s time for take two. Try and be less obvious about it this time, okay?”

Titus flushed. “I-I’m sure everyone who’s helping with this assignment is in the same boat!”

“Nice try. Now do as your nurse says.”

“Y-y-yes, sir!”


End file.
